專家點(diǎn)評(píng) SAT作文的修改.

　　下面是專家對(duì)于一篇SAT作文的修改，這篇SAT作文的作者基礎(chǔ)一般，專家把文章拆成了五部分，分別做了點(diǎn)評(píng)，包括分析部分和修改部分。

　　Some failed experiences are usul for us.

　　第一部分：

　　Take myself for as an example. I played tennis at the age of eight. When I was eleven years old, I took part in a Sports Meeting about tennis which was organized by Jiangsu Province, a province in the southeast of China. 1At the beginning of the group match I had won two opponents, but my third opponent, Hu, who was in the Jiangsu 2provinciance’s team, deated me. The score was 1:6 and 2:6. At the end of our match, he held out his thumb to the ground and said, ‘Loser! You cannot win forever!’

　　I could not forget it after the match, though I would have another doubles match the next day. (營(yíng)造失敗的記憶)

　　分析：

　　1.in the first group stage

　　2.provincial team 省隊(duì)

　　第二部分：

　　1 His words reverberated unceasingly nearby my ear, even in mine dream.The next day, I could not focus on the match. At the beginning of the match, the score was 1:4.

　　2 ‘What are you doing?’ My partner shouted at me while his hand knocked at my head and his arm winded around my shoulder. ‘You shouldn’t pay attention to your failure that was something in the past. And you must focus on this match now!’ He shouted. At last, we won the match and got the prize of 6th that year.

　　分析：

　　1 SAT作文的修改：His words stayed in my mind for such a long time that I could not focus my attention on the doubles match the next day.

　　2 呵呵，在這位同學(xué)的營(yíng)造下，他的朋友成了又一個(gè)馬景濤，很喜歡吼，看過(guò)實(shí)在忍俊不禁。

　　SAT作文的修改：He, holding out his hand, firstly knocked at my head, had me in his arm and told me some words that I would never forget, ‘Cheer up. Do not cry over the split milk. Just let it go. Put aside the previous failure and try your best in the current match. ’ He drove those words so deep into my heart that I finally made it. Finally, we won the … 　　注：各位要學(xué)會(huì)多用對(duì)話加強(qiáng)真實(shí)感。

　　第三部分：

　　When we came back to Suzhou, I began to work harder on my tennis training. Everyday I went to the tennis court after school. From 5p.m. to 8p.m., I 1exert all my strength at training. Everyday I was still training 2while my teammates went home with their parents.

　　分析：

　　1 時(shí)態(tài)的問(wèn)題請(qǐng)大家一定要注重，確保前后一致。

　　2 在看這句的時(shí)候，突然覺得作者有一點(diǎn)感傷了，看到同學(xué)們都和爸媽一起回去了。

　　3 總體上說(shuō)訓(xùn)練是一個(gè)把不好的記憶變成好記憶的重要過(guò)度，還得添加筆墨來(lái)加強(qiáng)場(chǎng)景感。

　　SAT作文的修改：After returning to my hometown, days went on as usual. But that failed experience let me realize that as a tennis player, there was still a long way bore me. In order to fill the gap between professional athletes and me, I became harder on myself. Everyday after school I could be spotted walking into the stadium and training painstakingly every night until the security guard hurried me up to leave there. Day in and day out, I kept practicing a series of skills---serving, forehand hitting and backhand returning, dampening one T-shirt after another. But no matter how tired I was, I always bore in mind an idea to beat that man who looked upon me one year ago. For almost a year, the total practice hours mounted to an amazing __ hours.

　　第四部分：

　　1 The second year, I joined my final match because my age was too old to join the match. I knew it was my final chance to deat him. Luckily, we had a battle at the semi-final. 2 The time does not lose the person with high aspirations. Finally, I won the match with the score of 7:5, 4:6 and 7:5. At last, I said, ‘3 You are the loser now. What’s the feeling of it? It’s my pound to interview you.’

　　分析：

　　1 這個(gè)句子有點(diǎn)晦澀，應(yīng)該是指這個(gè)年齡段的比賽以后你就不能參加了。

　　2 不理解這句話

　　3 呵呵，實(shí)在是太可愛了，我們就順應(yīng)他的意思吧。

　　SAT作文的修改：One year later, I entered, with great confidence, for the same competition, which would be my final performance since this game was prepared for children aged 8 to 12. After sweeping all my opponents, I entered the final and, not surprisingly, saw my greatest foe--- Hu, the dending champion. This time, he paled compared with a new me，who was not only skillful but also determined. Finally, after a two-hour fierce fight, I won the game by 7:5, 4:6 and 7:5.

　　五.總結(jié)例子 From my failure to my win, there is just one year. But it must be the experience I will never forget.

　　SAT作文的修改：It takes me one year to turn the failed experience into a victory, during which I not only improved my skills in tennis but more importantly increased my courage to deal with troubles

　　以上就是專家對(duì)于這篇SAT作文的修改，五個(gè)部分都分別作了點(diǎn)評(píng)，比較詳細(xì)，修改也很到位，大家在練習(xí)的過(guò)程中應(yīng)該作文重點(diǎn)參考。

　　下面是專家對(duì)于一篇SAT作文的修改，這篇SAT作文的作者基礎(chǔ)一般，專家把文章拆成了五部分，分別做了點(diǎn)評(píng)，包括分析部分和修改部分。

　　Some failed experiences are usul for us.

　　第一部分：

　　Take myself for as an example. I played tennis at the age of eight. When I was eleven years old, I took part in a Sports Meeting about tennis which was organized by Jiangsu Province, a province in the southeast of China. 1At the beginning of the group match I had won two opponents, but my third opponent, Hu, who was in the Jiangsu 2provinciance’s team, deated me. The score was 1:6 and 2:6. At the end of our match, he held out his thumb to the ground and said, ‘Loser! You cannot win forever!’

　　I could not forget it after the match, though I would have another doubles match the next day. (營(yíng)造失敗的記憶)

　　分析：

　　1.in the first group stage

　　2.provincial team 省隊(duì)

　　第二部分：

　　1 His words reverberated unceasingly nearby my ear, even in mine dream.The next day, I could not focus on the match. At the beginning of the match, the score was 1:4.

　　2 ‘What are you doing?’ My partner shouted at me while his hand knocked at my head and his arm winded around my shoulder. ‘You shouldn’t pay attention to your failure that was something in the past. And you must focus on this match now!’ He shouted. At last, we won the match and got the prize of 6th that year.

　　分析：

　　1 SAT作文的修改：His words stayed in my mind for such a long time that I could not focus my attention on the doubles match the next day.

　　2 呵呵，在這位同學(xué)的營(yíng)造下，他的朋友成了又一個(gè)馬景濤，很喜歡吼，看過(guò)實(shí)在忍俊不禁。

　　SAT作文的修改：He, holding out his hand, firstly knocked at my head, had me in his arm and told me some words that I would never forget, ‘Cheer up. Do not cry over the split milk. Just let it go. Put aside the previous failure and try your best in the current match. ’ He drove those words so deep into my heart that I finally made it. Finally, we won the … 　　注：各位要學(xué)會(huì)多用對(duì)話加強(qiáng)真實(shí)感。

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