【雙語閱讀】擴(kuò)大你的人際網(wǎng) To be Socialized.

　　每個(gè)人都有交際，都有認(rèn)識的人、親戚、同事、鄰居還有一些朋友。但對很多人來說，以上這些人際關(guān)系并不盡人意。不盡人意是因?yàn)殛P(guān)系不牢靠，而關(guān)系不牢靠則是因?yàn)槿狈ι罱弧?/p>

　　To be Socialized 擴(kuò)大你的人際網(wǎng)

　　We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and probably some friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are simply not fulfilling.

　　每個(gè)人都有交際，都有認(rèn)識的人、親戚、同事、鄰居還有一些朋友。但對很多人來說，以上這些人際關(guān)系并不盡人意。

　　They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

　　不盡人意是因?yàn)殛P(guān)系不牢靠，而關(guān)系不牢靠則是因?yàn)槿狈ι罱弧?/p>

　　I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

　　根據(jù)我做交流與自信力培訓(xùn)教練的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，我可以教你怎樣使人際關(guān)系升華、變牢靠，使你的社交生活更加豐富多彩。

　　1. Meet More People

　　1. 多認(rèn)識人

　　This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

　　顯然這有點(diǎn)自相矛盾，但人際“質(zhì)量”確實(shí)跟交往“數(shù)量”有很大關(guān)系。

　　If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

　　如果你交游寥寥，一年四季只結(jié)交一兩個(gè)人，想想你還有那么多各種各樣不曾結(jié)識的人，那你確實(shí)很難認(rèn)識跟自己脾氣、愛好、觀念相投的人了。

　　And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

　　而性格相投對牢固的人際關(guān)系又是如此關(guān)鍵，所以那樣你更難有機(jī)會(huì)建立良好的人際關(guān)系了。

　　Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand yoursocial circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

　　相反，如果你經(jīng)常出去結(jié)識各種各樣的人，社交圈就會(huì)不斷擴(kuò)大，你會(huì)喜歡跟脾氣相投的人打成一片，而這些人極有可能成為你的好朋友、好基友等等。

　　2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

　　2. 講講自己在乎的事情

　　A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

　　當(dāng)兩個(gè)人發(fā)現(xiàn)彼此的信仰和興趣都很相像時(shí)，倆人的關(guān)系必然會(huì)加深。確實(shí)，價(jià)值觀和興趣愛好都能搭建起牢固的情感紐帶。

　　I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life.

　　我發(fā)現(xiàn)很多人的交談都比較泛泛。人們一般只會(huì)談些天氣、電視節(jié)目、電影明星八卦等瑣碎話題，很少觸及各自生活中他們最在乎的部分。

　　Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

　　應(yīng)該談些自己在乎的話題，讓別人知道你關(guān)心什么、相信什么。如果碰巧他們相信和在乎的事情剛好跟你的一樣，他們肯定會(huì)迫不及待地跟你分享。這樣你便能找到有趣的共同話題，你們的關(guān)系也會(huì)更加親密了。

　　3. Express Vulnerability

　　3. 展現(xiàn)脆弱的一面

　　Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

　　許多人總想表現(xiàn)得完美無缺。他們不愿談起失敗經(jīng)歷，對自己的缺點(diǎn)遮遮掩掩，也從不說些會(huì)使自己尷尬的事情。

　　This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

　　可這一切都只是表象而已。或許你在某些人面前表現(xiàn)得很完美，但你很清楚自己并不完美，何況他們也看得出來。你是個(gè)人，人無完人，都會(huì)有缺點(diǎn)。

　　However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

　　而且，藏起缺點(diǎn)只會(huì)讓你看上去漠然無情。你更像一尊大理石雕像，而不是活生生的人。而這樣更難讓別人從情感上接近你了。

　　4. Have Integrity

　　4. 坦誠相待

　　This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

　　坦誠的性格非常重要，因?yàn)檫@樣人們才會(huì)信任你。人們相信你的評價(jià)會(huì)比較中肯，即便有時(shí)會(huì)忠言逆耳，人們也會(huì)相信你能遵守承諾。

　　This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

　　這種信任是可靠人際關(guān)系的中流砥柱，對你的生活與工作都很重要。所以，盡管有時(shí)候要做到坦誠并不容易，但還是試試吧。

　　Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice bore you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

　　與周圍的人坦誠相待，哪怕剛開始這么做會(huì)傷害到他們。比起傷感情來，贏得他們的信任更為重要。而且，一定要踐行諾言。許下承諾前最好先想清楚，覺得是自己力所能及又非常樂意的事情時(shí)再作保證。

　　5. Be There For Others

　　5. 隨時(shí)伸出援手

　　Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

　　可靠人際關(guān)系的另一個(gè)頂梁柱就是支持。如果能在需要時(shí)伸出援手，不管是幾句安慰的話還是大刀闊斧的實(shí)際行動(dòng)，人與人之間的紐帶都能變得更加牢固。

　　Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

　　當(dāng)然，你不可能隨時(shí)都能幫上每個(gè)人的忙。畢竟人的時(shí)間、精力和其他資源都是有限的。但是你可以區(qū)別出你生活中真正重要的人，然后盡可能在他們需要時(shí)提供幫助。

　　Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

　　你對能在實(shí)際上給他們幫助，給他們帶來情感上的撫慰，而這能給你倆的關(guān)系帶來質(zhì)的飛躍。